My heart is crushed..I'm losing someone I love and I feel like dying..HELP!!?

One person that i love so much and care about had a terrible car accident 2 days ago...Everyone besides him died instantly,and he's in a very deep and serious coma.His body functions are working but he has lot of broken bones including his ribs,collar bone and a fracture on his skull.He has serious brain damage and hasn't gained consciousness yet.His brain and neural system hasn't reacted to the medicine he's been given.The doctors and brain surgeons say that he can only survive through miracles and my hope is fading each minute.I feel like i'm dying as well,i feel miserable i can't eat,sleep or think about other stuff my mind is always on him and how much i love him..Please help me,have you been through something like this?Any suggestion or consolation is appreciated...
Answer:
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you feel helpless. But you have to remember that at least you did have him in your life. People that loved once are most likely to love again. He is now your angel above watching over you and if you take in your surroundings you will feel his spirit with you. Talk to him out loud. It sounds weird, but it helps. I lost my 6 yr old great niece on May 4th. Everytime I hear a Gwen Stefani song I can see her singing and dancing along with the song. One of that last things she did was see a Gwen Stefani concert, one of her biggest dreams at 6 yrs old. I take comfort in that her dream came true. It is going to take time, but you will get through this and you will always have those memories with him.

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There isn't much you can do, unfortunately. You're grieving and you kind of just have to wait it out. Try to think about the good times with him and hope for the best.

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oh i am SOO sorry... things like that happen in life, things that hurt people a lot...but u just have to acknowledge the situation, and its normal to feel the way u r feeling. cry if u feel like it, it makes u feel better. stay active, do sports that will take ur mind somewhere else. countinue eating right, eating will also improve ur mood. get some sleep. good luck, i hope ur loved one gets better, and i hope u feel better. :)

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You need to remember it hurts b/c we are still here and going to have to live w/out our loved ones while they move on to the next life. If he was a believer then he has moved on to a better place w/ no pain or sorrows and you are left here to continue to live and change lives for other people here. It still hurts, but just remember that he is in a better place and you have been left b/c your time here is not done and God still has a plan for you. Pray for help from God. God does not give us more than we can handle and asking for help from God can cure any problem you may have.

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just have faith and hope that he makes it, because there is a chance he will, but I really cant help you get over the pain, cuz pain like that is so strong.

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i will pray for you and him.

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had a past nephew in a similar situation just last yr.two died, the driver not injured, and he was in the hospital for months. tough first two wks, didn't know if he would live.
he survived ... still hard for the family cause they lost another nephew just a few yrs previous to b-day drinking binge..
pray.

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I'm not going to try to explain why these things happen because none of us really know. All I will say is that you have my sympathy and you and your friend are in my thoughts. Good luck to you both.

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I don't want to say that I understand- I have never been in your position- but I can certainly feel for you.If your friend does not recover, I would try to remember that God (or whatever faith you believe in) has called this person to a higher purpose, and that where they are going there is no pain.If they do recover, take this giant seismic event in your life as an opportunity to take stock of all you have accomplished and wish to accomplish in your life. Above all, I'd try to think of how my friend would want me to feel about whatever the outcome is, and try to live my life in a way that would make them and myself proud. I'm thinking of you and your friend tonight.

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God that is horrible. I have personally been going through a difficult time lately, but then (for a reason) I read your question and find myself feeling for you and your love, and it took me out of my less serious problems. First I want to say I am sorry for all that is happening. Second, I would say that just reaching out and 'talking' or communicating will help you. You can only pray for a miracle. He is someplace aware that you love him and are in pain. I believe it is only natural to feel as you do. If you are a religious person perhaps you can go to the Chapel or someplace that the hospital provides. Or maybe you can visit a house of worship in your neighborhood and talk to a Priest. Minister, Rabbi or someone who can guide you.Talking is good. I wish you only the best and your friend all the love and hope that you both deserve.

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Yup, been there. First of all, spend as much time with him as possible. Even tho he is hurt a lot, and coma %26 brain damage, continue to talk with him. Tell him how you feel. Even read to him, whatever. It can't hurt him. It might even register in some deep part of his mind, and comfort him. If you tell him all the things you wanted to say, it will definitely help you.
It may help if you start attending a grief support group, or one run thru hospice.
Another thing, if you do lose him, don't just hide away and be alone. It helps so much to be out with other people. Forces your thoughts outward, rather than mourning on and on inward.

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Pray for him. Start another question and ask everyone who reads it to pray for him also. Pray that he doesn't have to suffer. Whether it takes him or leaves him here. Just pray for his suffering to end. If you are a true friend you will put his feelings and well being before your own pain. It is hard to do this, but you will know that you are doing the best thing you can for him. I have lost people I love and I know how devastating it is to see them suffer. It is hard to let them go, but I would not bring them back and watch them suffer again for anything. I have also had loved ones who I thought might die(one was in the same shape as your friend) and then they pulled through. My friend who was in the car wreck broke all his bones in his face, punctured his lung, sustained internal injuries, and brain trauma and both legs were broke. He was in a coma for a week. All you can do is pray for him and pray that God will give the doctors the knowledge and ability to treat him as best as they can. I will also keep you and him in my prayers. Send me an email and let me know how he is doing. I hope everything goes well.

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Keep a positive attitude. flow positive energy to him.
do not give up on him. he will prevail. I have friend that had a similar life threatening situation. everyone that knows her flowed nothing but good thoughts towards her and she is well today. it is not a god thing. it is not praying. it may sound bizarre. but there is energy in this world that can change the dynamics of situations. but you must concentrate hard on his
recovering. put your good positive energy towards him and not your dispair. your dis pare does nothing for him. think only of his recovery. your crushed feelings are not important right now.Miracles do happen.

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Do not give up. Every day he is a live is a chance of him getting better. The brain is a very complicated thing,do not count it out, until he has left this world. There have been people who were counted out because of brain trauma and then poof, things began to change. I am not saying this is what will happen here. What I am saying do not give up hope until he is gone. Pray for strength.
What you r going through is normal. But you r not doin him or yourself any good by not taking good care of yourself.

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Sorry. the best thing to do is to talk to any close family or friends, also if possible try to see a doctor or counselor as they can maybe give you ideas on how to cope with this

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i am so sorry to hear your bad news my heart goes out to you ive been in a similar situation and its the feeling of not being able to help him that hurts a lot. i also felt i was dying was unable to eat or sleep just like you.there really isnt a lot you can do at the moment, just remember the good times you shared with him and even if the worst does hapen nobody can take away your love for him and the memories you have of him. take care of yourself, god bless you if you wantto keep in touch with me please do.

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In this time all you need is to be there for him and talk to him out loud trust me they can hear you, and talk about everything the weather your day but the more you feel bad as you love him so the more he won't get better. Remember love is the strenght and he needs that more then anything sure it's hard to stay positive but if he hears that you went for a walk and picked up this beautilful flower and the day was great and the sun on your skin .. Making your day with happy thoughts makes him happy, i know it's hard but he would not want you to feel this way and remember it hurts him to hear you full of pain. the more you are positive the more he's gonna know that you'll always love him and not forget him and he's gonna be able to go in peace knowing you're ok. As i'm sure he's holding on to make sure you're ok even if he''s in so much pain. the doc's don't know everything on the mind trus tme on this the mind of a persone no matter what the papers say is very powerfull.Take care of you and that's what i'm sure he want's more.

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